


ain't always what it's supposed to be

by brahe



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Dad Steve, Deployment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Military, Navy, Parenting Woes, Passage of time, Reunions, Schmoop, Sharing Clothes, Some Fluff, Some Humor, Some crying, That's pretty much it?, i gave myself emotions writing this, it's like a shorted nicholas sparks novel without the death and with five-0 instead, lots of hugging, no major spoilers for any season, rachel and danny are on good terms, steve and grace bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-11-15 03:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11222064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brahe/pseuds/brahe
Summary: And Danny can't help it, the way his eyes get watery, because he doesn't know how to explain to his daughter that the other half of his life is leaving, shipping out to war and maybe never coming home.Or, Steve gets deployed, and Danny's trying really hard to not turn their lives into a Lifetime movie.





	1. right down the line it's been you and me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'm such a sucker for those military family reunion videos, and I read like every H50 fic where Steve gets deployed, and there aren't enough, so I figured I'd do my part.
> 
> This one is sort of in three parts - finding out/pre-leaving, events during Steve's time away, and then reunion goodies. I watched like fifteen of those reunion compilations for """research""" but besides that I know zero things about the navy. Or the military, really. All my knowledge is second hand from relatives in the air force or movies (*cough top gun*), so please excuse the mistakes and omissions of information.
> 
> Rating may go up in the last chapter ;) - I'll put a note if it does
> 
> Not beta read, not my boys, etc, etc
> 
> titles from faithfully by journey

The sun's painting the sky with the usual orange and pinks and purples, sinking back into the sea for the night in a typical blaze of glory, and Danny hopes to himself that he'll never get used to the beauty of the Hawaiian sunsets.

Despite it, he turns to watch Steve beside him instead. He's been tense since Tuesday, and three days has only added to the rigidness of his posture and the tight set of his shoulders. He'd loosened just a little while they had company over, Chin and Kono and a multitude of cousins in a habitual cookout on the McGarrett beach. Grace had even stopped by for a little - which, normally, is a wonderful thing. Not to say that Danny didn't absolutely love seeing his baby girl. Only Steve had swept her up off her feet in the driveway, spinning her around until she couldn't stop giggling and her smile was set to split her face, and he hadn't let her go the rest of the evening. After food, Steve had settled her between himself and Danny on the sofa they pushed onto the lanai, and carded his fingers through her hair the entire night. Danny had said nothing then, but it's eating away at him as much as Steve's sudden stressed attitude.

 

Danny watches the light from the sun play shadows across Steve's cheeks, sending long dark streaks from his eyelashes and shading the far side of his face. He reaches out and threads his fingers through Steve's, squeezes a little as he turns his whole body.

"When are you going to tell me what's going on?" Danny asks. Steve doesn't look at him, but Danny knows that Steve can tell where this is headed. Still - 

"What are you talking about?" Steve asks, voice carefully blank, and Danny sighs.

"Don't play this with me, Steve," Danny says. "I saw the way you were with Grace tonight, and - and it looked a lot like goodbye."

He doesn't realize how true it is until he says it, and then there's something vicious wrapping around his heart, pressing against his ribs.

Steve finally looks at him, and Danny guesses he must have squeezed Steve's hand too tight when the panic set in, because Steve's brow is creased and he looks as torn as Danny's ever seen.

"Danno, it's not..." he starts, but he can't say the rest, because he'd be lying.

Danny's staring at him, the words Steve says and doesn't say sinking into his mind like water into a sponge.

Steve's on his knees in the sand, in between Danny's legs, before the full realization sets in.

"Please finish that sentence," Danny says, soft and quiet with a terror Steve can't stomach. This is his fault.

"I can't. " He shakes his head, keeps his eyes on Danny, waiting for the blow-up.

"What do you mean, you can't?" Danny says, but it's heavier than usual. "You've been tense all week, tight and snappy and you've barely even talked to me, and then you're stuck on my  - _our_  daughter like you're never going to see her again, Jesus _Christ_ , Steve, tell me this isn't what I think it is."

Danny's voice is wrecked by the end, and there's already too much Steve can't handle, but what Danny's thinking...

Steve catches Danny's hands, holds them tight against his chest in between his own.

" _Never_ , Danno," Steve says, fierce and full of love that sometimes overwhelms him. "I'm not leaving you. Ever."

The clear pain in Danny's eyes fades just a little, until Steve adds, 

"Not like that."

Danny's wide-eyed and gaping now, thrown around by his emotions too much to work into a full rant.

"Tell me this is what I think it is," he says, and it's a whisper because he can't talk any louder past the knot in his throat. Steve sighs, reaches up to cup the sides of Danny's face.

"I got a call from Pearl on Tuesday," he says, slow and careful, and Danny's eyes flutter closed. "I'm shipping out in two days."

Danny twists his hands in Steve's so he can hold onto them, squeezes them as tight as he can, before he's falling forward, forehead against Steve's and hands fisting in the front of his t-shirt. Steve brings his hands to the back of Danny's neck, holds them together as they breathe.

 

Eventually Danny sighs, and Steve watches Danny put himself back together. "Okay," he says, and it isn't, none of it is and they both know it, but he repeats it anyway. "Okay." He takes a deep breath and sits back, leaving Steve feeling suddenly adrift. "Let's get this furniture back inside."

 

Steve follows Danny's lead as they clean up in silence, glancing at his partner four times a second at least. He's not sure how he thought Danny would handle the news, but it wasn't like _this_  - completely ignoring it, maybe in hopes that it will go away. So he watches Danny move around his house, _their_ house, picking up stray napkins and bracing himself for a fallout that he knows _must_ be coming.

 

He just isn't expecting it so soon.

 

Danny's taken the dishes from the grill into the kitchen, and Steve listens to the sound of the water running from the living room.

"Hey, Steve," Danny calls, the water now shut off. "I can't reach the cutting board cabinet, I need you to..."

He breaks off suddenly, and Steve has never made it across the room so fast in his entire life. He comes into the kitchen and finds Danny leaning against the counter, sleeves pushed up and clean dishes on the counter, trying his hardest not to cry. 

"Danny?" Steve asks, and Danny doesn't even look up.

"How long?" 

Steve walks toward him slowly, carefully, unsure. Danny's shoulders are tense, like he's holding himself from shaking, and Steve doesn't know what to do. 

"How long will you be-?" Danny repeats, and he's still staring at the counter top. Steve stands two steps beside him.

"They told me six months," Steve says, "but I don't know if..."

He stops when Danny chokes on a sob, and Steve has never felt so helpless in his life. He closes the distance between them, runs his hands up Danny's arms and turns him around, pulling him to his chest and curling his hand on Danny's neck. He says nothing, just holds Danny as he takes deep breaths and flexes his hands in and out of fists on Steve's back.

 

It's not a good two days. Neither get any sleep the first night - instead, they stay up together, laying beside each other until the sun shines through the window.

Day one is when everyone else finds out, and it goes exactly as one would expect. Kono takes it like a champ, warns Steve to be careful, and that she's no qualms about coming after him, no matter what unstable, backwater town they've got him stationed in. Chin pulls him into a hug and promises to hold down the fort, and, when Danny's stepped outside, he says,

"You've gotta come back, brah,"

and nods towards the door where Danny just disappeared.

 

The rest of the afternoon involves a car chase and a neatly-wrapped case, and for a while everyone forgets that this could be it, could be the end of this. Danny doesn't remember until his cell phone rings.

"Rachel?"

"Are you still coming to get Grace for tonight?" she asks, and Danny's confused, this isn't his weekend with Grace, but then - 

"...yeah," he manages, reality crashing back in, and _Jesus Christ_ he hates this more than anything. "I'll be there in twenty."

 

Steve drives them to Rachel's, and Danny can't help but think about how weird it'll be to drive his own car every day, and that's another rabbit hole straight into the pit of emotions he's trying so, _so_ hard to ignore.

They park by the door, and Grace is running out to hug them, a giant smile on her face. She hits Danny first, arms around his neck, and he loves his baby girl with his entire being, holds her just a little bit tighter, and she's pulling back to look at him curiously.

"Danno, what's wrong?" she asks, and her gaze flickers to Steve, who's sitting on the hood of the car, watching them, face tense. Grace turns back to Danny, eyes wide.

"Daddy? What's going on?"

And Danny can't help it, the way his eyes get watery, because he doesn't know how to explain to his daughter that the other half of his life is _leaving_ , shipping out to war and maybe never coming home.

Steve's hand is on his shoulder, and he's taking Grace into his arms, giving her a hug that squeezes just as tight as Danny's.

"I've got to go away for a while," he says, and Grace wiggles in his arms until she can look him in the eye.

"What? Go where? Why?"

"It's the Navy, babe," Danny says, but he's not much use after that.

"I'm going to fight some bad guys for a few months," Steve says, and this is too much for Danny. Steve's tucking Grace's hair behind her ear, holding onto the side of her face, and Danny is _wrecked,_ holding himself together only by sheer, iron will.

"But you fight bad guys here," Grace says, and she looks so confused. Danny pinches the bridge of his nose, looks up, away, anywhere but Steve, holding his little girl and trying to explain that he's going to war.

 

"When are you gonna come home?" Grace asks, and _God_ Steve loves this girl heart and soul, and she's looking at him with Danny's eyes, wide and hurt and not understanding why Steve's leaving, leaving _her,_  and this is the one that finally breaks him, because he can't tell her when, doesn't even know if there will be - 

"I don't know, baby girl," he says, pulling her against him again, and he can't help the tears. There's absolutely no training that helped him prepare for this, nothing to help him brace himself against the onslaught of emotions threatening to bowl him over.

"I don't want you to leave," Grace says, and it sounds like she's crying too, and _Jesus_ this is more than Steve could ever hope to handle.

"I don't want to leave, either," he tells her, and it's kind of surprising how much he means it this time.

 

Grace doesn't let go of him the entire night. She sits on his lap in the Camaro, steals his fries when Danny concedes to drive-thru, and curls up with his arm as a pillow when they settle in for a movie. She's still clinging to him even when she eventually passes out, and he has to pry her hands apart to put her to bed.

Danny's watching from the doorway, and it would be endearingly domestic if it weren't for the way he's barely keeping his vision from blurring, the way Grace reaches after Steve in a semi-consciousness as he walks away.

Steve keeps his eyes on Grace until he's standing by Danny, and he doesn't let himself fall apart until they've shut the door to their bedroom. He nearly collapses on Danny, a sob crawling its way out of his throat, and it's been so long since he's cried - it _hurts_ , like a bullet to the heart.

"I can't do it," he mumbles into Danny's neck, shaking his head. "I can't." 

Danny's hands come up to frame his jaw, and he's nodding, eyes steeled and confident and full of love.

"Yes you can," he says, and there's so much conviction in it that Steve maybe believes he can. Danny pulls Steve back to him, whispers _yes, you can_  until they both fall asleep.

 

Day two they take off from work and take Grace to the beach. Danny lets Kono take her out onto the smallest possible waves, and it's almost distracting enough from the increasing squeeze around his heart. 

He sits with Steve on the blanket they've set up close to the water, hands tight together and Steve's arm heavy and solid around Danny's waist.

"Hey, Danno," Steve starts, "I need you to promise me something. If - if I don't come back."

Danny's certain his heart is going to stop working. "No," he says, shaking his head. "I can't, Steve, I can't even  _think_  about that, okay, so just please-" and God damn it, he's choked up again, takes a minute to breathe past the the lump in his throat. Steve's arm tightens around his waist. "Write it in a note, or something? I can't...I have to believe you're coming home."

"Okay," Steve whispers, pressing a kiss to Danny's temple. "Okay."

 

Dropping Grace back at Rachel's is ten times harder than picking her up was. Steve carries her to the doorway, taking her hands from around his neck and holding them in his own as he promises to be careful.

"Please come home," Grace says, and there's tears in her eyes but she's not crying, just determined, which is more than can be said for Steve.

"I'll do my best, baby girl," Steve tells her, and it's not quite a promise, but it's the best he can do.

Grace waves at them from the doorway until the Camaro pulls away from the driveway, and Steve's vision is so blurry he almost has to pull over.

Danny's hand finds his, then, squeezes it tight. "She'll be okay, babe," he says, and Steve nods, wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Yeah," he says, voice rough, and tries his hardest not to think about everything he's about to leave behind.

 

Danny watches him from the bed the next morning as Steve packs his duffle.

"Don't forget your rocket launcher," Danny says, but his smile looks strained. Steve shoves the last shirt into the bag and turns his attention to Danny, cupping his face and bringing him into a kiss.

"Careful," Danny mumbles, "keep kissing me like that and I may not let you go."

It's supposed to be a joke, but it comes out all wrong. Steve climbs back into bed, pushing Danny into the sheets below him. He traces gentle fingertips along Danny's face, eyebrow to nose, jaw to lips, takes in as much as he can. Six months is going to feel like a lifetime, he knows. 

"I'll be back before you know it," Steve says, though, but Danny just blinks at him, breathes deeply, and drags Steve into another kiss colored with desperation and fear. 

"Promise?" Danny asks, and maybe it's a low blow, but Steve's leaving and there's a real chance he won't ever be coming home, so Danny's in a low blow kinda place. Steve presses his face into Danny's neck, breathes for a while.

"You know I can't," he says, and yeah, Danny knows. He's trying to imagine what this is like for Steve, but he can't. Can't even get past trying to imagine a life without Steve anymore.

"You're gonna be late," Danny tells him between kisses. Steve hums, pulls back eventually and looks at Danny, burns this into his brain because he knows he'll need it.

"Drive me?"

 

It all goes rather horribly at Pearl. Danny pulls the Camaro up and parks it, climbs out and stands with Steve at the hood. Steve's duffle is on the ground beside them, and Danny feels a lot like a military spouse.

"I'm not sure how to feel about that," he admits, when he tells Steve what he's thinking. "Never would have pictured myself as a stay-at-home kind of parent."

"I'll be sure to kiss you like in those old photos when I get back," Steve jokes, and there's an almost smile from Danny, but he figures it's the best he'll get.

"I'll call when I can," he adds. Danny nods. "Probably won't be often, but," Steve shrugs.

"Just know," Danny says, "that I won't stop Kono when she hijacks a plane and breaks eleven international laws to come rescue your ass." 

That startles a laugh from Steve, and Danny's smile is a little more real this time. Steve tucks the image away, next to all the other memories he knows he'll rely on to get him through these coming months.

Danny's hand goes from poking Steve's chest to curling into his shirt, and the mood shifts again. "Just - just _please_ be careful. I can't even imagine if you don't..."

And Danny promised himself he wouldn't cry, but here he is. So much for that.

Steve pulls him to his chest, wraps strong around around his shoulders and waist, holds onto him with his face pressed into his neck.

"Don't even think about it," Steve says. "I'll be back before you even start to miss me." 

"Too late for that," Danny says, and damn, this is the hardest thing Steve has ever done in his life. He's never wanted to leave Danny, not since that first day, really, and their lives have become so entwined that they've become one.

"I love you," Steve says, tries not to make it sound too much like the last time he'll ever say it.

"Love you, too," Danny mumbles against Steve's shirt.

But it's time, Steve's got to go, his country is calling for him and no matter how much he wants to stay, he has to go.

"God, I love you so much," he says, kisses Danny hard and fierce like it's the last good thing he'll ever do. He's not sure if the tears on his face are his or Danny's, but it doesn't really matter. Danny's kissing him back, clinging to him and shaking under Steve's hands, and if he doesn't leave now, he never will.

"I love you," Danny says when Steve steps away, and they probably both look a right mess.

"I'll see you in six months," Steve says, wishes it was a promise, and only looks back once before he disappears into the main office.


	2. wheels go round and round, you're on my mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo more! It's not entirely what I wanted, but i like how it turned out. Enjoy!

It's not great. Danny wasn't expecting it to be. Half the time he spends missing Steve like a hole in his heart, and the other half he curses himself for sounding like a Nicholas Sparks heroine and whips himself back into shape. It's a push and pull, back and forth kind of thing, and there are good days and bad days.

 

Today is a good day. Five-0 is two steps from a full wrap on a week-long case, criminals coming down left and right. Kono got to kick a man off a jetski, and Chin beat his personal best time for hacking into a perp's laptop. And it's also probably the furthest they've gotten in a case without firing _any_  bullets. Danny's feeling rather proud. He leaves the booking to HPD and goes collects Grace for his weekend, plans to pick up steaks and vegetables from the store on the way home. Kono and Chin are coming by later for a wrap-up cookout, and Danny's got good feelings.

 

Until Grace gets in the car. 

 

Danny can tell immediately that something's wrong. There are certain things Grace inherited straight from him, and wearing her emotions right on her sleeve is definitely one of them.

"What's up, babe?" he asks, pulling out of Rachel's driveway and throwing Grace looks.

"It's nothing," she sighs. Danny's trying to prepare himself for anything from boys to bullies.

"You can tell me anything, you know?" he tells her, reaching out to pat her knee. She hunkers down more into her seat, looking out the window with crossed arms. 

"I don't wanna talk about it," she says, and that's that. Danny won't push her to talk until she's ready, so they ride to the grocery store in tense silence, and back to the McGarrett-Williams house in even more oppressing silence. 

Grace disappears upstairs, and Danny lets her cool off, until he realizes that it's been almost an hour and he's heard nothing from her. He makes his way up the stairs, listening carefully but hearing nothing. He checks Grace's room first, and, finding nothing, checks his and Steve's room.

Grace is there, curled on the bed, one of Steve's old tees in her hands like a stuffed animal. It tears into his heart, and he has to take a deep breath to keep himself together.

"Hey, monkey," he says softly, stepping into the room. "What's going on?"

He sits on the bed next to Grace and runs his hand through her hair repeatedly. Her face is red and tear-stained, but she isn't crying anymore. She just looks worn out and sad.

"I miss Step-Steve," she says, quiet and broken, and _Jesus_ will the list of things trying to strangle Danny's heart never cease?

"I miss him too," Danny says. He tries to think of what to tell Grace besides the platitudes he's been getting for the last month, but it's hard. This is an entirely new perspective on Steve's deployment, and Danny finds he likes this one the least.

"Tommy and Jonathan were talking about soldiers at school today, and how lots of them never come home," she admits, snuggling further into their sheets and clutching Steve's shirt tighter. Danny sighs, mentally curses elementary school boys and the Navy and everything else he can think of.

"Well, Steve is not just an ordinary soldier," Danny says. "He's got special training and a team of people that have special training, too."

That seems to ease Grace a little, and he has another idea.

"Tell you what," Danny tells her, "lemme show you what helps me when I'm worried about him."

Grace perks up at that, and she gets up off the bed to follow Danny's lead to the window that overlooks the beach. Danny won't tell her that the best way _he_  copes is to curl up in one of Steve's tees or sweatshirts and sleep on Steve's side of the bed. That's between him and the hidden pile of Steve's laundry.

There's a calendar on the wall beside the window, and Danny points out today's date.

"Every day, right before I go to sleep, I cross out the day on the calendar. It marks off one more day until Step-Steve comes home."

"Can I get my own calendar?" Grace asks, already taking to the idea. She traces a finger along the last week of Xes Danny made.

"Sure thing, babe."

 

 

Grace hangs her calendar in the kitchen, and they mark of the day after dinner together on the days that Grace spends with Danny. On nights when she's at Rachel's, she calls Danny, and Danny marks the one in the kitchen as Grace does the one in her bedroom there.

And later, once Grace is asleep, with Danny or Rachel, Danny stands by the window and listens to the ocean, lets the sea breeze drift across his face, and prays to everything he knows that the ocean will bring Steve back to him, safe and sound.

And then he crosses off the day, wondering when he became such a melancholy romance novel protagonist. But the ache behind his heart doesn't diminish - instead, it gets stronger when he settles into cold sheets on a bed that's too big and too lonely.

 

 

Danny finds Steve's note not long after that, an envelope addressed to him laying on top of Steve's socks in the draw. For a moment, Danny's embarrassed that Steve guessed he would steal some socks, but it's an open secret between them that Danny likes wearing Steve's clothes.

He sits on the bed and looks at the back of the envelope for a while, studies the shape of his name in Steve's hand. A part of him doesn't want to even open it - he already knows the gist of what's inside. 

 

Eventually, what feels like hours later, he flips it over, carefully slides his finger under the flap and pulls it open. There's several pieces of paper folded together, and Danny wiggles them out, smoothes it flat on his leg. 

It feels a little like a _Dear John_ , but Danny can't bring himself to care. He _misses_ Steve, misses his snark and his laugh and his warmth and his smile, and he can almost hear the writing in Steve's voice.

He reads it all the way through, and then reads the whole thing again, and yeah, he's crying a little, so what. Danny's pretty open with his affection, and Steve's getting there, too, but they don't talk like _this_ , like this is the last thing Steve's ever gonna say to Danny, even though it's not spoken.

It starts fairly detached, describes the events of bringing a solider home in a coffin. His body will come to Hawaii, and he's listed Danny as his next-of-kin. He'll get a military funeral, and Danny will get a flag and a gravestone.

And then he talks about the house, and a will that an old family lawyer has, and how he wants Grace to have things like the car and his grandfather's medals, and - and Danny can only take so much, really. He shouldn't have been surprised to see his daughter's name there, given how she's become Steve's daughter, too, honestly, but it still hits him like a punch in the gut, and he has to put the letter down for a moment and breathe. He sees Steve swinging down, lifting a giggling Grace off her feet and into his arms, running with her down to the water, sitting her up on his shoulders so she can reach the high shelves while they're teaching her to cook.

It only gets worse from there, and Steve signs off the letter asking Danny to tell Grace about him as she grows up, because _I don't want her to forget about me_ - like she could ever. He says that he wants Danny to move on, to be happy with someone else, and that's it, Danny done, he lets the letter fall and looks at the picture of Steve on the nightstand, tells himself a dozen times that he's okay, he will _be_ okay, he'll _come back -_

 

 

The first time Steve calls is a week after that. It's the official three-month mark, and Danny's not in a particularly good mood.

Kono shares her cocoa puffs with him and listens to his bitching until Chin comes in, smile on his face. He says nothing, just keys something up on the screens in the main office.

Danny sighs, prepping himself to deal with a case, when suddenly it's _Steve,_ unshaven and covered in sand or dirt, but alive and _smiling_ , even, Jesus, this is too much for Danny to handle.

"Danno?" Steve says, and it's the first to time Danny's heard his voice in 61 days. It's so good to hear him, Danny almost losses his balance. He grips the edge of the table, leans forward across it, as if being closer to the screen would bring him closer to Steve.

"...looks like you could use a bath, babe," Danny says. He sounds strained, even to himself. Steve frowns, but doesn't acknowledge it. 

"What's going on there?" he asks, instead, and Kono takes the opportunity to tell him about the rather creative way she took down the perp on their last case.

"Man, he went _crashing_. Gave us everything after that," she grins, and there's no mistaking the pride in Steve's eyes.

"I think you should tone down on your SEAL training with her," Danny tells him. "I'm not sure I can handle two of you." 

Steve doesn't respond, just looks at him, studying. Chin and Kono make an excuse and leave the call to Danny. 

"What's going on with you?" Steve asks. Danny sighs, rubs a hand over his face.

"I miss you," he admits, shrugging. "So does Grace. Found her curled up with one of your shirts the other day." Danny leaves out the extra details, because he knows Steve would do anything to keep his baby girl from crying, and he didn't need to know exactly why.

From the pained look on Steve's face, he's guessed probably correct things.

"Things are going well over here," he says, then. "Looking like we'll meet our expected date."

"Six months?" Danny asks, but he knows the answer.

"Six months."

There's commotion behind Steve, rustling of fabric and distant shouting.

"Hey, I gotta go -" He looks back at the screen, eyes bright and clear and full of love. "I love you."

"Love you too, babe. Go save the world." 

 

 

From then on, Steve calls about once a month. He seems tired, dirty, but Danny can see the look that means he's proud to be serving his country.

Sometimes the calls time out when Danny has Grace, and nothing makes his smile more than the way his little girl lights up when Steve waves at her across the computer screen, listens to her tales from school and the Island with a soft, happy expression.

But it also fuels the ache in his chest, and sometimes he can't hide it well enough from Steve. When Grace bounds away, leaving Danny with Steve, Steve'll reach out, presses his hand to the screen, and Danny will do the same, eyes burning.

They sit, always, and watch each other, relearning faces, quiet for a breath or two. Danny cries a little, sometimes, when the strength of how much he misses Steve hits him, and, once, Steve cried, when Danny told him about the box Grace wanted to send him, and when Danny told him he wears his shirts around the house, but they don't smell like him anymore.

"I've got one more in the closet I've been saving," Danny admits, and maybe it's weird, but it's been five months and change, okay. _Jesus_ , five months. Danny chokes a little on his next breath. "God, I miss you so much."

"Less than a month, now," Steve says, and his eyes are shiny too. "I promise," he adds, and there's a little smile, because he can, _finally_ , promise that. Danny's smiling, too, laughing a little, even, and Steve aches with how much he can't  _wait_ to be home.

"Love you," he adds, and Danny presses his fingertips to the screen.

"Love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, Steve comes home :)


	3. forever yours, faithfully

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay, the end! This chapter ended up wayyyy shorter than I expected, and I may go back and add some later, but for now, enjoy! 
> 
> Not beta, as usual, but I also got a new phone so there may be more errors than usual

Steve doesn't tell them the day he's coming home - he knows Danny has Grace today, and he plans to surprise them at home. Duffle thrown in the passenger seat, he takes one of the rentals outside Pearl and peels out of the parking lot, driving a little faster than he should on his way to the suburbs.

It's been a long, _long_  six months, tedious and tiring, utterly draining, and Steve's ready to sleep for a week, forget about some of the things he saw and recover his energy, but he's even more ready to see Danny and his baby girl again. 

 

The Camaro is in the driveway, and Steve can hear delighted shouts and soft splashing from the backyard that no doubt belong to Grace. He lets himself in, drops his bag by the door, not bothering with the rest of his uniform in favor of seeking out the back door, and his family.

Danny's by the grill but his eyes are on Grace, who's down by the water, mostly hidden in a huge hole she's dug. Kono is seated next to her in the sand, laughter bright, the setting sun illuminating the sky behind them. Chin's propped up in a lounge chair halfway between the lanai and the ocean, and this, _this_  is Steve's home, his family, everything he fought - fights for.

He watches Danny a little longer, comparing him to the mental images Steve's used these past six months. His hair is a little different, a little more blonde, and his skin is a little more tan. There's a set to his shoulders, though, that's stress, and Steve wants to see it gone.

 

He taps his knuckles against the frame of the sliding door, clears his throat.

"What's for dinner?" he says, and three pairs of eyes are suddenly on him.

"UNCLE STEVE!" Grace yells, running across the sand as fast as she can. She barrels into him and he picks her up, swings her around before tucking her into him, hand in her hair and lips pressed to her temple. She clings to him, too, almost vibrating with excitement. 

"I knew you'd come back," she mumbles into the skin of his neck, and he just holds her tighter.

"Alright, alright, time to share," Chin laughs, and Steve sets Grace back down almost reluctantly, and he's quickly embraced by Chin. He claps his back, holds him tight, and tells him, "Good to have you home, soldier," with a smile.

Kono's next, her petite frame dwarfed by his own, and she stretches on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek and pats his chest. He holds onto her a moment longer, so overwhelmed by love and happiness, and she laughs into his shoulder.

And then it's Danny. Beautiful, love-of-his-life Danny, who's watching him with shiny eyes. Steve approaches him slowly, taking in the way Danny's smiling at him, brings his hands up to hold Danny's face, running his thumbs along his cheekbones.

"Hey, Danno," he says, soft, almost a whisper.

"Welcome home," Danny tells him, laugh a little watery. "I believe you promised me a kiss," he adds, when Steve's still just staring into those beautiful, beautiful blues he missed so much.

Steve grins and wraps an arm around Danny's waist, pulling him to his chest and pressing their lips together for the first time in six months. It's sweet and (mostly) chaste, and they come apart laughing. Grace fits herself between the two of them, and Steve kisses her forehead and then Danny, happiness welling up in his chest like a spring in a desert.

 

Later, when Grace is back at Rachel's and Kono and Chin have gone home, Steve presses Danny against the door and kisses him like he means it - Danny's hands are in his hair and his are on Danny's waist, pulling him closer and closer. It's breathless and brilliant and just this side of desperate, and Steve could not be more in love than he is now.

"Marry me," he says, whispers it into the air between them, and he can feel Danny suck in a breath, can feel the way his heart speeds up in his chest. He pulls far enough back to look at Steve, eyes flicking between Steve's, and for a moment Steve is terrified that he'll say no.

But then Danny's laughing, soft sounds like sighs, and he's saying yes, _yes yes yes,_ and everything settles into place.

**Author's Note:**

> also news, i made a sideblog for my writing, catch me on tumblr at [brahewrites](https://brahewrites.tumblr.com)


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